• Spunk and Devotion

    Spunk and Devotion

    Tiger Rose

    Lenore Ulric stars in this charming film about love, revenge and justice. It was the eighth top grossing film of that year and was one of three (that I know of) directed by Sidney Franklin in 1923, the others being Dulcy and Brass. Ulric starred in the Broadway version in 1917. Eventually the film would be remade in 1929 with a big name cast under the direction of George Fitzmaurice.

    It starts off with a short introductory scene and then a brilliant shot of Mountie, Michael Devlin, played by the adorable Forrest Stanley, leaping off a cliff to save the title character, Rose Bocion from drowning and falling off a waterfall.

    “I was patrollin’ the river, just above the falls–“

    He rescues her, taking her to recover at the nearest factorage, or trading post. You might say “Well this is a perfect recipe for romance- surely she falls for this hero.” and the character, Devlin, would agree with you, but you would be mistaken.

    Women, am I right?

    Despite his dramatic heroism, he just can’t charm the girl who soon takes notice of a surveyor called Bruce Norton, played by Theodore von Eltz.

    He does have a passing John Wayne-like attitude…

    Without much introduction they fall in love, but she knows nothing of Bruce’s tragic past and current vendetta. After Bruce is accused of murder and goes on the run, a mysterious man appears to help her aid her in helping her love escape from the law.

    Mysterious mustachioed man

    Where did this strange man come from? Will Bruce and Rose finally achieve their happily ever after? Will the determined Devlin get his way and send Bruce to prison?

    You’ll have to watch and find out!

    Seriously. Don’t just read the boring summary on the Wikipedia page. If you like silent films with adventure, spunky heroines, exciting chase scenes, and riveting action, then this will not disappoint. It was definitely worth the watch and I highly recommend it to any of you patient people who read this.

    On that note, I apologize for the hiatus, I have a lot going on this summer and I didn’t plan ahead enough to have more posts ready. I have watched a couple more movies though and I’m excited to spill my few cents on each of them as soon as I can.

    Coming soon: Scaramouche!

  • Good Luck!

    Good Luck!

    The Balloonatic, a Buster Keaton film, starts off with the phrase,

    “Summer, and an afternoon at the amusement park.”

    It cuts to a fantastic shot of the top of Buster Keaton’s hat. He looks up, and we see his face lit ghoulishly from underneath, he holding a lighter to see by. What a summer afternoon… He stumbles around the dimly lit room and we find from the various scares he runs into that he’s in a haunted house!

    Soon, we are treated to a series of hilarious failures as he tries to find ways of winning favor in the eyes of various women at the park. Before long he spots a gas balloon and starts hanging around fiddling with it. The gentlemen are about to launch when he’s asked to climb up and put a “Good Luck” pennant up on the balloon itself. I’ll leave you all to see what happens next–it’s only a 20 minute feature, so do find out!

    I will however throw in a photo of my scribbles from when I was watching. If you want to see more spoilers, then good luck deciphering them.

    scribbles are fun

    Incidentally, the first part of the film goes quite well with this piece, also of 1923, “Who’s Sorry Now?”: https://youtu.be/iMUXqK6kvUc

    I enjoyed this film. Some of the humor was lost on me the first go round but on the second review it was even funnier. Truly Keaton was a master humorist. The stunts are fabulous. I especially liked the hot air balloon and canoe scenes, but even the headstand in wet waders was great.

    To be true to my comedy short system that I don’t use nearly enough, here are the scores:

    Overall, a 7/10. It was funny but I am confident that there are funnier things in store, so stay tuned.

    Brownie points: 3 for the balloon, 2 for the canoe, 1 for Phyllis’ hat, 1 for the animals, 1 for the uke, and 1 for the overall plot and ending. I think that’s nine total.

    There you go! This one may have been a long time coming, but hopefully it’ll all be smooth sailing from here on out. Stay tuned for the announcement of our next full movie!

  • A Paramount Pioneer

    A Paramount Pioneer

    We’re a bit spoiled nowadays with all of the great classic westerns that have come out over the years, but have you ever wondered where some of that tradition came from and how it developed? Look no further. Okay, actually you should look further; William S. Hart has a whole career’s worth of western film tradition to consider, leading up to 1923 and beyond, but this film is a great place to start.

    What a great film, with a big influence! It had its share of special moments, sure, but the main plotline was brilliant, the characters were vivid and exceptionally portrayed, and the filming was very high quality. The big budget was not wasted on this one! Though still a silent film we see a title screen much more reminiscent of the talking era; more recognizable to the ‘late-comer’–with the classic ‘Paramount’ logo even. From the title screen to the conclusion, the quality was evident and, even without sound, definitely qualifies as an A-lister for western film. I truly enjoyed watching The Covered Wagon.

    As a 4 million dollar grossing film, this one came in second in 1923 only beaten slightly by DeMille’s film The Ten Commandments, another Paramount picture. The Covered Wagon struck a charming balance of romance, action, intrigue, and dramatic effect. The hero was dashing, and the heroine beautiful. The bad guy wasn’t immediately obvious, which was good, and he had some fun scenes. The hero was almost a bit too good, but it came off as quite endearing since he had a reliable friend. I recommend this film to anyone who might be interested. It was definitely worth the watch.

    The tobacco/banjo kid, Jackson’s face, the cabin scene, and the end scene were my favorites. I didn’t like that the kid was shown constantly chewing tobacco, but this kid turns out to be a more brave and reliable character than most of the men in the camp and it’s cute how they weave scenes of him playing the banjo in through the film. William Jackson (Ernest Torrence), the scout, was the unsung hero of this plot. Jackson’s face, especially not long after we meet him in the scene where he first threatens Sam Woodhull (Alan Hale) is great.

    There were a lot of awesome actors and actresses in this one, names you just don’t hear about too, so that’s another great reason to watch. I’ve seen a few westerns and I know a lot of the tropes and I can honestly say that even though this one may be older, it is definitely entertaining and far from being old hat or used up. Well done!

    So what do I think of the main actor? His acting was beyond reproof, and he has a great face; he presents well. I found nothing to dislike about him. That said, he just lacked that je ne sais pas. I’m not sure what it was, but Mr. Kerrigan is probably not going to be my list topper this year. He had a good plot going for him, he was a good-looking cowboy and the girl looked good at his side and everything. I can’t explain a specific reason why I don’t love him, but I just don’t. (The subjective nature of my list may have just gotten worse, but we knew it was never actually based on anything unbiased anyway, so there ya go.)

    The story was well-presented, believable, gripping, and had a lot going for it. The acting was absolutely top-notch for the time and so was the filming. I definitely recommend it and I can already tell this will be high on my list of favorites for 1923. What a strong place to start off! Stay tuned for the announcement of the next film!

  • What to Watch First:

    What to Watch First:

    Here’s your advanced warning! If you want to see the movie before reading my take on it and hearing all the spoilers, then go and watch The Covered Wagon. It will turn 100 years old on March 16th of this year. Enjoy!

  • 1923 Centennial Films List

    1923 Centennial Films List

    Howdy all, and happy new film watching cycle! Let’s jump right in to 1923. There are a ton of films here that I am very excited to see! I of course spent plenty of midnight oil refining this list, so strap in and enjoy 🙂

    According to the trusty old Wikipedia page for 1923 in film, 91 ‘notable’ films were released in 1923. They are listed on that page alphabetically, with the top 8 highest grossing films for that year repeated at the top of the page.

    The top 8 films for 1923 are:

    1. The Ten Commandments – $4,100,000
    2. The Covered Wagon – $4,000,000
    3. Safety Last! – $1,500,000
    4. The Hunchback of Notre Dame – $1,019,798
    5. Scaramouche – $1,000,000
    6. Main Street – $510,000
    7. The Gold Diggers – $470,000
    8. Tiger Rose – $466,000

    These are the films I will do my best to find and review if possible. They are included again here in my new, improved, and expanded list in the following format: **Film Title**. Films with a single asterisk (*) indicate ones I like the look of, and linked films indicate ones that I added to the list that were not included on the page 1923 in film. BK again designates a Buster Keaton film, and a long dash (—) indicates a lost film.

    I believe there are 96 total films listed here, now in chronological order. I removed several lost titles from the original list and added 24 titles. Feast your eyes!

    • Dec. 31, 1922 – Salomé (Wikipedia)
    • ? 1923 – The Harbour Lights (GB, look around)
    • ? 1923 – Out to Win (GB, good luck)
    • ? 1923 – Schatten/Warning Shadows (Germany, Wikipedia)
    • ? 1923 – The Sign of the Four (GB, Sherlock Holmes, uncertain)
    • —Jan. – The Man in the Iron Mask (Germany, not available)
    • Jan. 1 – Fury (unknown)
    • —Jan 21 – While Paris Sleeps (lost)
    • BK Jan. 22* – The Baloonatic* (look around)
    • —Feb. – Bishop of the Ozarks (lost)
    • Feb – The Monkey’s Paw (GB, unknown)
    • Feb. 4 – A Dangerous Pastime (look around)
    • Feb. 5 – The First Degree (look around)
    • Feb. 12 – Jazzmania (look around)
    • Feb. 13? – A Spectre Haunts Europe (USSR)
    • —Feb. 18 – The Prisoner (lost)
    • Feb. 17 – La Roue (France, reconstruction, look around)
    • Feb. 18 – The Grub-Stake (look around)
    • Feb. 25 – The Pilgrim* (Chaplin, Wikipedia)
    • —Feb 26. – Suzanna (partial copy only)
    • Feb. 26 – The Treasure/ Der Schatz (Germany, look around)
    • BK Mar. – The Love Nest* (look around)
    • Mar. 4 – Adam’s Rib (unknown)
    • Mar. 4 – Can a Woman Love Twice? (good luck)
    • Mar. 5 – The Shriek of Araby (spoof of The Sheik, 1921. Available)
    • Mar. 11 – Grumpy (recovered, unknown availability)
    • Mar. 16 – **The Covered Wagon** (on Wikipedia)
    • Mar. 21 – This Freedom (GB, good luck)
    • Mar. 25 – The Fourth Musketeer (look around)
    • Mar. 27 – Souls for Sale* (available)
    • Apr. 1 – **Safety Last!** (available anywhere)
    • Apr. 1 – Bella Donna (Pola Negri, look around)
    • Apr. – The Lady Owner (UK, look around)
    • Apr. 23 – The Sunshine Trail (good luck)
    • —Apr. 25 – **Main Street** (lost)
    • Apr. 28 – Those Who Dance (Baxter, lost? LOC?)
    • Apr. 30 – Within the Law (YT link)
    • June 3 – A Man of Action (good luck)
    • —June 7 – The Last Moment (lost)
    • June 10 – The Shock* (Wikipedia)
    • June 11 – Railroaded (unknown)
    • —July 15 – Rupert of Hentzau (Sequel to Zenda, lost. Nooooo! T^T)
    • July 22 – Itching Palms (look around)
    • July 22 – The Victor (look around)
    • July 22 – Lawful Larceny (look around)
    • July 29 – Trilby (look around)
    • July 30 – Circus Days (look around)
    • Aug – The White Shadow/White Shadows (GB, look around)
    • Aug. 1 – Little Old New York (look around)
    • Aug. 6 – Ashes of Vengeance* (Wikipedia)
    • —Aug. 17 – Blinky (Lost)
    • Aug. 19 – Three Wise Fools (good luck)
    • Sept. – Squibs M.P. (GB, look around)
    • Sept. 2 – Why Worry?* (Harold Lloyd, Wikipedia)
    • Sept. 3 – Merry-Go-Round* (von Stroheim, Wikipedia)
    • Sept. 3 – Rosita (Pickford, look around)
    • Sept. 5 – The White Sister (look around)
    • Sept. 6 – **The Hunchback of Notre Dame** (Wikipedia)
    • —Sept. 12 – The Daring Years (lost)
    • Sept. 15 – Forgive and Forget (incomplete, look around)
    • Sept. 16 – Zaza (Swanson, look around)
    • —Sept. 22 – **The Gold Diggers** (Incomplete, check YT)
    • BK Sept. 24 – Three Ages (look around)
    • Sept. 26 – A Woman of Paris (C. Chaplin drama, on Wikipedia)
    • Sept. 30 – Red Lights (look around)
    • —Sept. 30 – St. Elmo (American film, lost)
    • Sept. 30 – **Scaramouche** (Wikipedia!)
    • Oct. – The Audacious Mr. Squire (GB, unknown)
    • Oct. – The Loves of Mary, Queen of Scots (GB, unknown)
    • Oct. 10 – The Unknown Tomorrow/Das unbekannte Morgen (German, look around)
    • Oct. 13 – The Merchant of Venice/1926 The Jew Of Mestri (German, unknown)
    • Oct. 14 – Slave of Desire (look around)
    • Oct. 21 – Cameo Kirby* (YT lo-quality, no other versions)
    • Oct. 28 – Frozen Hearts (look around)
    • Oct. 28 – The Extra Girl (Wikipedia)
    • Oct. 29 – The Ancient Law (Germany, unknown)
    • Nov. – The Drums of Jeopardy (unknown availability)
    • Nov. 3 – Raskolnikow (Germany, unknown)
    • Nov. 11 – Blow Your Own Horn (Warner Baxter, good luck)
    • Nov. 11 – The Rendezvous (look around)
    • Nov. 12 – Under the Red Robe (look around)
    • Nov. 18 – Wild Bill Hickok (Hart, look around)
    • BK Nov. 19 – Our Hospitality* (Wikipedia)
    • Nov. 20 – In Search of a Thrill (Baxter, good luck)
    • Nov. 23 – Cœur fidèle (France)
    • Nov. 29 – The Street/Die Straße (Germany, look around, see also Grunes’ blog)
    • Dec. 3 – Fashion Row (look around)
    • Dec. 4, LA; 21, NYC – **The Ten Commandments** (on Wikipedia)
    • Dec. 9 – **Tiger Rose** (Wikipedia)
    • —Dec. 23 – Big Brother (lost, see Young Donovan’s Kid, 1931)
    • Dec. 24 – The Song of Love (Talmadge, look around)
    • Dec. 25 – I.N.R.I. (Germany, 1933 Crown Of Thorns, unknown)
    • Dec. 29 – Black Oxen* (Wikipedia)
    • Dec. 31 – Pure Grit (look around)
    • 1923 UK, 12 July 1924, US – I Will Repay/Swords and the Woman (UK, sequel to The Scarlet Pimpernel, look around)

    There ya go! A list of films for 1923 if you ever needed to know what was playing. If you want to experience that year from the view of the silver screen with me, then get ready!

    Stay tuned to see what film I’m reviewing first!

  • Year in Review: 1922 in Film

    Year in Review: 1922 in Film

    The first year of centennial film review is done; and I managed to squeeze it into the last four months or so of the year. I don’t anticipate having quite as much free time this coming year, but at least I have a whole year to cover 2023, and I’ve been sceduling my time a bit so that I hopefully won’t be up until three o’clock in the morning any more.

    The first thing I did after making the blog and typing out the premise was make that long, crazy list of films to look for and watch. I’ll be doing that again because I was constantly going back to that outline to figure out what to watch next. The list of what actually got reviewed compared to what films were listed is not nearly so long, but that’s the way it goes.

    Titles Reviewed, 2022:

    • Blood and Sand
    • The Prisoner of Zenda
    • Smilin’ Through
    • Foolish Wives
    • The Bride’s Play
    • Monte Cristo
    • Saturday Night
    • Moran of the Lady Letty
    • The Three ‘Must Get There’s
    • Sherlock Holmes
    • Grandma’s Boy
    • Beauty’s Worth
    • Pay Day
    • When Knighthood Was in Flower
    • The Man From Beyond
    • Robin Hood
    • Dr. Jack
    • Tess of the Storm Country
    • Nanook of the North

    I got nineteen reviews done this year. All despite having to do them while stumbling in and amongst all the other nonsense in my life!

    For any of you overzealous and eager people out there who want to know what I missed, well here’s an iffy list (in no specific order) of the things that I was considering reviewing but just didn’t get to review:

    • The Paleface, Cops, My Wife’s Relations, The Blacksmith, The Frozen North, The Electric House, Daydreams. Buster Keaton’s 1922 was a prolific one, and I did watch the first four of these with the intention of doing a post on all of them at once but it just didn’t happen. I love Keaton’s work though and would recommend him to all!
    • Haxan
    • Dr. Mabeuse
    • The Bachelor Daddy
    • The Primitive Lover
    • Laborer’s Love
    • One Exciting Night
    • Nosferatu –I watched it but I didn’t write a full post on it.
    • Polikushka
    • The Young Rajah
    • Mud and Sand
    • The Pride of Palomar
    • The Toll of the Sea

    I would have liked to have had more time to watch more, but at least this year I will be able to take the whole year, even if I don’t have as much spare time. That said, it’s already the 9th of January so I’d better get started before April showers come along.

    So what were my favorite three films, you ask? Drum roll please…

    My top three for the year were:

    1. The Prisoner of Zenda
    2. Grandma’s Boy
    3. The Man From Beyond

    I almost put Robin Hood on here, and I could easily list seven more favorites, but we have to stop somewhere. I went with Man from Beyond instead because I loved the humorous plotline, the stunts, the rich history surrounding the film, and it also appealed to my interests in spiritual topics. If you need an explanation for why I chose Zenda or Grandma’s Boy, look no further than the reviews I did for them in, A Tale of Two Rudolf’s, and Wholesome Humor.

    And now the list you’ve all been waiting for! My rating of the most attractive actors of 1922:

    • Wyndham Standing – adorable.
    • John Barrymore – very nice face.
    • Lewis Stone – great hat, excellent acting.
    • Forrest Stanley – excellent in armor.
    • John Gilbert – great face, and mustache.
    • Rudolph Valentino – nice cape.

    This is, of course, only based on the films I watched, and completely scientific and unbiased in any way. At least, one of those things is true.

    Outside of film, what was my year like? Well, I took a glorious amount of time off and I think I used it well for the most part. It was definitely worth it. Other than this blog I did a decent amount of writing, especially in the last several weeks of this year and I had a lot of fun doing all kinds of other things. I made some new friends, I spent time with some old friends, I ate a lot of good food and sometimes I slept in altogether too long, and I’m okay with that. I played a lot with my little nephew and got to hold my new little niece, another real angel child. It was wonderful.

    If you want to know what happens in 2023, you’d better stay tuned; the big list for ‘1923 in film’ is coming up next! Let’s do it again!

  • Arctic Fun

    Arctic Fun

    Nanook of the North was released June 11th, 1922 and was a relatively new type of film at that time, combining documentary and dramatic elements.

    Just before Christmas it got to be really quite arctic outside for a few days; 20 and 30 some degrees below zero (Fahrenheit) complete with driving winds and powdery snowdrifts, so I thought this would be a fitting review to finish off this year. Nanook of the North is about a family of Inuit people and their ways of living. Luckily I got an extra-fluffy snuggie for Christmas, otherwise I might have just gotten too cold while watching to write anything.

    It was amazing to see how these people survived in such extreme conditions, eating fish and walrus meat, living in igloos, and selling furs. I thought it was fascinating. It’s not a movie to watch just for fun if you’re sensitive, though; it has some scenes of sled dogs fighting, and the people often appear to eat raw meat much of the time.

    That said, it is surprising, not to mention charming, how happy they seem to be. Their clothing is adorable also. Lots of fur and big hooded coats. I would recommend it to anyone who is interested in film history or anthropology. It’s definitely a ground-breaking (or at least ice-breaking) film, historically speaking. I especially loved the part where they placed an ice-window in their igloo. Also the ice-fishing/spear-fishing scene. Kudos to Flaherty and others who did the work to film this; it seems they went to great lengths to get usable, intact footage for this film.

    It’s getting late in the year and late in the evening so I guess that’s all for this one. My next post will probably be a year-in-review summary where I rank my favorite films and actors, and mention films that I wish I hadn’t missed out on, so stay tuned!

  • Tess of the Storm Country

    Tess of the Storm Country was a 1909 novel written by Grace Miller White. Mary Pickford starred in both its first film adaptation in 1914, and the film I’m reviewing today, released in 1922. It has a dramatic and dynamic storyline and although there are some elements reminiscent of other stories it features an original and immersive tale. The Wikipedia article on this one has an extremely detailed plot summary so I won’t go over the entire film here, but it was great, definitely worth seeing, especially if you are in the mood for something that teaches the spirit of forgiveness and has a happy, Christmassy ending.

    I personally loved this film and am adding the original novel to my list of books I’d like to read. It was very well done and even the strange accent that the squatters seemed to use was not too odd or hard to read. Morally, it emphasizes a lot of things that people often need reminding of. Especially to set aside differences and be kind to one another. The very beginning mentions loving your neighbor as yourself, and the end explains that you should start by knowing your neighbor. It is easier to vilify others if you don’t really know them, after all.

    That’s part of what I love most about traveling is that you get the chance to meet people with all kinds of different perspectives and, if you’re lucky, see how they live their lives. Even at home though, we would do well to get to know our neighbors, so long as they want to meet us. Many different people have different levels of comfort as far as privacy goes and you don’t want to be that person who is always hanging around in someone’s way or making them uncomfortable. That said, getting to know people without constantly dismissing them for some difference or fault is an important life skill if you want to have the kind of friends who really care and count in the end. As it says in the Bible,

    “Love your enemies… If ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? Do not the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others?”

    Matthew 5:44, 46-47

    In other words, it’s in loving those who don’t expect you to love them back that you find the greatest of friends. When a person you fundamentally disagree with stops to help you when you’re struggling, or you open your home to someone even though no one else will even look at them, those are the things that make a difference. Even if that person is an ungrateful scrooge or turns back around and steals from you later, it was worth the risk because, firstly, people change; maybe that person will remember what you did, and, secondly, if they are grateful, and they do become a friend who appreciates you no matter your differences, you will have made a real friend indeed. Humans are capable of unconditional love, not just dogs. We sometimes need reminded of that.

    Now more than ever we need to stop embracing toxic schisms and just be kind. Republicans and Democrats and anyone in-between or outside of those groups are really all the same. Nationalism is and always will be a tool of warfare. If you belong to some group that just hates or even simply has disdain for some other group please reconsider your disagreement. They are just people, most of whom are trying to live by what their beliefs dictate. There are all kinds of people in most every group. The kindest of kind and the bitterest of scrooges. The same goes for people of different nationalities and countries, and for people of any religion, or any creed. Don’t be so much into something to the point of being anti-someone else. Especially if it means you won’t even listen to them or treat them like a human being. Even Nazis are human beings. What makes them so difficult to like? Their decision to treat others as less than human. So treat others as you would want to be treated. Don’t hate people, even if you do hate what they’ve done.

    Anyway that’s what this charming film illustrates. You really shouldn’t judge anyone, and certainly not before you get to know them. The rich man, Elias Graves, discovers that his bitterness toward the people who dwell on his estate has driven most of the people he cares about to an early grave in one way or another, and the very people he has persecuted the most were the ones who most deserved his gratitude and respect. Told from the perspective of the heroine, Tess, we see that her faith and hope and honesty were rewarded in the end and the bitter old man finds the ability to change and be kind after all.

    I love how this film has moments reminiscent of the greatest of dramas and stories while still maintaining an identity entirely its own and a theme that is so pertinent even 100 years later. The plot was very well thought out and emotionally engaging. I highly recommend it, especially right now with Christmas in only a few days.

    Thanks for coming with me so far on this journey through 1922 in film. We’re almost out of time, so I anticipate no more than one more film review for this year before I post a summary of this years’ reviews. I hope you all have a magical and merry Christmas and the happiest of years to come.

  • Why I’m Leaving the Mormon Church

    In no way do I desire to make trouble for or sully the reputation of my family. On the contrary, I hope this will help them comprehend my perspective.

    I also hope that posting this on my film review blog does not bother anyone who actually came here for talk about old movies. It was too much to edit on Facebook.

    I’m probably one of the few people who you will meet that can claim that I left the church because I know that the Book of Mormon is true. Anyone who has been exposed to that book knows that near the end (Moroni 10) it states that by the power of the Holy Ghost you may know the truth of all things. I don’t know everything. I don’t often seek to persuade anyone of any truth I may know. But I hope desperately that I may personally encounter some few who can relate with me regarding this spiritual journey.

    There are a lot of unusual doctrines taught in the church. If you were raised being told “that’s the way it is and it’s the truth, by God” then you may or may not ever wonder where they come from. The answer you will get from members is that a Prophet revealed them as God’s word.

    “Question with boldness even the existence of a God…”

    Thomas Jefferson

    When I was still a teenager, I read a letter written by Thomas Jefferson to his nephew, Peter Carr, in which he advised,

    “Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.”

    I took this to heart at that time and have continually reminded myself when seeking truth to question everything. There are some who abhor this quote because, to them, even the idea of having doctrinal doubts is akin to committing sin. If you still feel that way you should probably just stop reading this and go find platitudes somewhere else (perhaps in a conference talk).

    Possibly my most driving passion is that I want to know the truth. I can’t even explain why anymore except to say that it is among the deepest yearnings of my soul. This was not always the case— and for good reason. As a child, my desire to know the truth was strong enough without it overpowering my desire for human interaction, or getting me in trouble at school, among other things. There have been and still are things that I have been taught all my life to be true that are not. Things ranging in significance from something as silly as the daddy-long-legs being a ‘spider that can’t bite’ actually being an insect; to as life-altering as learning that a past Prophet of God, who, touted as honest and incapable of leading people astray, not only, in reality, was a teacher of many doctrines abhorrent even to a modern audience, but conspired to kill his predecessor and any who stood in his way, took over the leadership and teachings of the church, and falsified historical documents to hide this coup.

    “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”

    Mark Twain

    I’ve heard it said that truth is often much stranger than fiction. We live in a reality where nothing is impossible, but many things, no matter how true, are considered by some to be unbelievable.

    Again, a past Prophet of God, who is now touted as having been honest and incapable of leading people astray, not only, in reality, taught many abhorrent doctrines, conspired to kill his predecessor and any who stood in his way, took over the leadership and teachings of the church, and falsified historical documents to hide this coup. The even more astounding thing about learning who really killed Joseph is that the same church which underwent this upheaval not only still operates and even spreads across the world, but that it refuses to acknowledge even the possibility that this previous ‘Prophet’ might not have been inspired by God in even a few points. They just ignore his more distasteful teachings if they can. Not only do they resist acknowledging the truth, but they persist in parroting many of his perspectives to this day.

    There is an honest root in this church, but it has been trodden under foot and defiled for over 150 years. And yet we wonder at our condemnation?

    “18 Seemeth it a small thing unto you to have eaten up the good pasture, but ye must tread down with your feet the residue of your pastures? and to have drunk of the deep waters, but ye must foul the residue with your feet?

    19 And as for my flock, they eat that which ye have trodden with your feet; and they drink that which ye have fouled with your feet.”

    Ezekiel 34

    This is an apt description of my feeling toward the current doctrines of the church. Even before learning that we were being prevented from finding the real truth, I felt like I was starving for doctrinal answers and truths. I sought as much knowledge as I could within the confines of church material. I studied seminary and institute manuals and online resources. I attended more than the standard four institute classes; several of which were still trial-based curriculums, such as one on ‘signs of the times’, as well as classes on the book Saints: A Standard Of Truth. I even sifted through some of the Joseph Smith Papers from time to time (which often conflict with many of the non-quotational assertions included in the Saints book). I would not include these details except to illustrate that I am not ‘remiss in my study’ and to reiterate that I do not need to be directed once more to the ‘Gospel Topics’ page, or ‘Revelations in Context’ page or sent more Conference talks. I have read the material. I looked everywhere that the church said to in order to find truth, and the more I read and watched, the hungrier for truth I felt. Not because my answers were creating more questions, but because I was not finding true answers. There is a big difference, by the way, in a carefully considered explanation and an actual factual answer. The former, I have found, is almost always more theory than fact.

    Where are the miracles in this day that can compare with those of Joseph’s day? Or of those in Christ and his Apostles’ day? Where are the promised books of continued revelation, of new scripture, of prophecy? Above all, why does everyone assume that there are ‘deep doctrines’ being shared somewhere in the church but no one actually has anything more than the vague insinuation of a seemingly forgotten teaching? I have found more than satisfactory answers to these questions and many more by studying anything and everything that the Holy Ghost sees fit to draw into my frame of reference, no matter the source. It is usually not a within church-approved source where I discover the greatest truths, revelations and dearest pearls.

    I believe many are playing a game of the Emperor’s New Clothes here: —‘Oh yes! The Prophet knows all about all those mysterious teachings and, if we’re good and faithful, perhaps he will finally be able to reveal them. For the Prophet is the only one that can tell us, but only when the world is ready to hear it. God can’t just reveal to us things that the world isn’t ready to hear. But the fullness of the gospel is on the Earth, so long as we have a living Prophet here with us.’—

    What a sad teaching! God loves us, but not enough to tell us the truth? I don’t accept that. Members are being gaslighted by a church that refuses to give them a return on investment: not in money, nor work, and most importantly not in FAITH. This organization can never repay the debt they owe to millions of their faithful members. I would love to find a church that could, however, I choose to remain unattached to any established creed until such a day. My beliefs have changed greatly in the past couple of years and I am confident that they will continue to do so as I learn more truth. That is what gaining knowledge and wisdom does. It incites a change of heart.

    That scripture still rings in my mind: “by the power of the Holy Ghost, you may know the truth of all things.” I prayed and prayed, pleading for help; pleading for a pure heart and real intent—and if that isn’t real intent then what is? I had been starving for doctrinal truths. And while I looked for answers the way the church told me to, I was fed a constant diet of unsought for breadcrumbs (scriptural trivia and interpretation), grains of sand (consolatory myths), and fodder (exhortations to be patient in seeking the Lord). But no new truths. I looked hard and long, my heart slowly wearying and closing itself off from all the years of unanswered faith and unfulfilled hope.

    This journey has been happening my entire life, and has finally accelerated over the last three years. Life-altering decisions like this do not come easily or quickly, and certainly not without painstaking consideration for the other people that they will affect. That said, I would have to have very little esteem and consideration for myself in order for the expectations of others and fear of man to quench this spiritual fire inside me. I cannot allow myself to fear man more than God, therefore, I cannot allow my name to remain listed among the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

    As far as answers from the church, I am convinced I was given ‘that which was trodden and fouled’. The limited doctrine approved by the church cannot be a reflection of the doctrine of that God who ‘giveth wisdom to all men liberally, without upbraiding.’

    Outside of the church I have found an environment that is much more conducive to learning and even to increasing my faith despite its many faults. I have also found examples of many people like me who have grown increasingly less satisfied with what the church provides and how they are providing it. If it were simply a matter of a society or group that makes it easier to have a community experience, I would still belong. If it were a matter of a mere social expectation with no implication of principle or moral infringement, I would still belong. Even if it were a religion that truly allowed a freedom of beliefs within its membership, without judgement or guile, I might be inclined to remain. But any organization that conspires to hide the truth or alter historical records for their own profit, can go languor in the land of liars without me, thank you very much. I take my place among the outcasts.

    “8 The Lord God, which gathereth the outcasts of Israel saith, Yet will I gather others to him, beside those that are gathered unto him.

    9 All ye beasts of the field, come to devour, yea, all ye beasts in the forest.

    10 His watchmen are blind: they are all ignorant, they are all dumb dogs, they cannot bark; sleeping, lying down, loving to slumber.

    11 Yea, they are greedy dogs which can never have enough, and they are shepherds that cannot understand: they all look to their own way, every one for his gain, from his quarter.”

    Isaiah 56

    What kind of watchman is blind? The blind watchman is a perfect metaphor for a Seer who cannot see. He is a prophet without prophecy. Such a person cannot warn his flocks of the things that God would give foreknowledge of, such as thieves in the night. If you think all is well in ‘Zion’, as the church is sometimes called, then I wish you a blissful ignorance, but, in my experience, ignorance is anything but bliss.

    “As the thief is ashamed when he is found, so is the house of Israel ashamed; they, their kings, their princes, and their priests, and their prophets.”

    Jeremiah 2:26

    What would you do if you discovered that a man who you had been raised to believe was a great prophet turned out to be the worst of thieves? If you had not even a shadow of a doubt in that knowledge, how would you respond?

    The day of the Lord, we are taught, will come as a thief in the night. What if one thief has already come? What if two Prophets are already lying dead at the head of all the streets with the whore of all the Earth looming over them in laughter?

    Do you truly believe that a church which was almost entirely destroyed in its mere infancy— its leaders ostracized and killed, its pieces of doctrine and history ripped to shreds and burned, droves of its most faithful members fled— that such a church would be able (under the surreptitious leadership of its very destroyers no less) survive intact? By that I mean, would such an organization still have the blessing of receiving a fullness truth from God? If so, why the need to remove themselves from the place of their foundation and the recent scene of so monumental a crime? Why leave the jurisdiction and protection of the US government? Perhaps a desire to leave the crime unsolved. Not to mention to the desire to avoid the ‘persecution’ of their immoral and rightly illegal polygamous relationships. Perhaps to prevent its members from seeing their dear Prophet’s widow and finding real sources of truth. Perhaps to make heroes of the murdered pair and twist that hero-worship toward the new ‘prophet’ and leaders. I mourn for those among my ancestors whose only real sin was a belief that their leaders were honest men.

    You cannot claim that there is no hero worship had among members of the church towards its highest leaders. It is one of their greatest weaknesses that they look up to their prophet and think how they could never live to be half as good, kind, successful, spiritual… the list goes on. Even real Prophets are mortal, human and fallible. And the current so-called prophet is also a man. Just a person like you or I, though perhaps a bit more groomed for a specific role. He is just as fallible and just as mortal and not only that, possibly a worse liar than we dare imagine. I pity world leaders because they’re either puppets (worse victims than those they rule) or they’re accountable for the decisions they make on behalf of millions. At least one prophet was thus accountable for his lies, in my estimation, and, tragically, many tout the honor of attending a university that goes by his name.

    What other diverse reasons does the great abomination find to grin over us in evil? Polygamy is among its favorites. I remind you that the Book of Mormon, which Joseph translated, and which forms the bedrock of our religion does not support polygamy. I am confident that Joseph never did either, despite the church narrative.

    Another thing the Book of Mormon warns heavily of are Gadianton’s robbers. Hmm… Conspirators? Thieves? Assassins? Have I not touched on this already? They are and have been among us, not only in government, but here, in the very church warned against them, since its inception. Joseph wasn’t exaggerating when he described betrayals by his friends and the secret plots that spun his destruction his whole adult life.

    If you believe the Book of Mormon, then please do Joseph the justice of believing that he did too. Is it so hard to believe that he was an honest person? One who truly loved his wife and she loved him; or do you prefer the church’s insistence that he was the one marrying himself to everyone and their dog, breaking his poor wife’s heart, even though he vehemently denied it and vocally opposed polygamy in public? Despite even being instrumental in the restoration of an ancient book of scripture which teaches against such a doctrine? Of all the things a man could be guilty of doing in private and covering up, the idea that such a person as Joseph, even just as a man trying to start a church, would consider using his authority to live privately in what he outwardly taught to be an abomination is almost unbelievable. The level of absurdity is only matched by the level of gall that his self-proclaimed ‘successor’ had in putting such teachings in his mouth.

    Many disabused ex-members might wonder how I can still believe in Joseph’s integrity after all this. I have a special witness of the Book of Mormon that I cannot deny, and while that cannot guarantee Joseph’s honesty, it is a starting place and I have considered a great deal of information regarding that man and his life and know that he was entrusted with such responsibility and such suffering for good reason. Suffering is not an indicator of God’s punishment, but often can be an indicator of His trust. We learn from hard things, therefore, the harder the things we are given, the more we are ready to learn. Learning can be very difficult sometimes, but other times it brings an equal amount of joy.

    I hear others ask, ‘how can you defend one prophet while condemning another? What makes you so sure the church teachings are wrong? To this I can only say: study it out for yourself, read the primary sources, view the extant revisions and redactions, listen to an opinion that might fall outside of your comfort zone (congratulations for getting here if this qualifies). Most importantly: ponder your question, put your concerns to words at least, then ask God. Don’t stop asking until you know the truth. Ask from both sides—is it true or is it false? Form no opinion until the knowledge itself distills upon your soul. It can take time, but recognizing truth by the Holy Ghost will get easier as you exercise this ability. So many ask only once whether the entire church is true, perhaps phrasing that question with one about Joseph Smith or the Book of Mormon and when they feel confident in the knowledge that one of these is true they are satisfied that the entirety of church teachings are infallible. Or perhaps they read a chapter in the Book of Mormon that really resonated in their heart— that is, the Holy Ghost testified of the truth of it— and they suddenly ‘knew’ the church was true. I would ask you if you feel that same resonating assurance while learning the ‘doctrine of polygamy’. You may even feel the Holy Ghost testify of the truth that polygamy was practiced for a time in the church, but ask if this was truly God’s will and teaching. Ask specific questions. Learn to separate the answer you seek now from the answers you really do have. Re-consider what you actually know and what you may have assumed was true by some logical fallacy.

    Just because the Book of Mormon is true doesn’t mean the church is true.

    Just because the Book of Mormon is true doesn’t mean the church is true. In my experience it is actually a great witness against the church as it stands today. Just because Joseph was a true Prophet doesn’t mean the church is still led by a true Prophet. Sometimes the honest truth is the most difficult thing to believe, but that is on purpose. Making the truth unbelievable is the optimal design of those who would keep you from it. Can you think of a better way to lie?

    Awaken, friends! Why will we sleep? Why should we languor in confusion any longer? Learn to hear the Holy Ghost. Don’t just assure your neighbor of your knowledge that the church is true, as the people did of their knowledge of the Emperor’s fine New Clothes. They had so little regard for themselves that they were gaslighted into believing that the clothes were simply only visible to those wiser than they. Or they were too afraid of their rulers to say anything. Don’t think you are unworthy simply because the ‘prophets’ sometimes chide the church or because you aren’t as apparently faithful or outgoing or what have you as someone else. Nor should you be afraid of speaking up against those in power. I promise you are not alone if you have such feelings.

    I felt deeply unworthy, even worthless, for many years without letting myself consider why or even admitting that I felt it. The older I got, the more obvious it was to everyone but me that I felt very little regard for myself. That is, thankfully, no longer the case for me, and I am finally starting to adjust to living my life without that soul-crushing need to prove my value. I seem to have gone a whole year without having an actual job. This will come back into balance as I find a better motivation for working. I think that awful unworthy feeling is deep-seated, pervasive, and multi-generational among many members of the church though, especially among women. An overwhelming implication that the church leaders seem to emanate is that ‘God loves you, but you’re not good enough and you’ll never be as good as so-and-so.’ I see it in a lot of people. It serves the organization well—driving members’ need for more of what the church apparently wants of them: displays of devotion, as well as an increase of wealth. If they did not want these they would not require them. ‘By their fruits ye shall know them.’

    I don’t want to end on such a sour insinuation. There is truth in the church, but it must be tried in every detail in order to sift it from the deceit. Question everything. Please. This must be done in every field of study, but what study is more important than comprehending the nature of our existence? Trying every doctrine for its veracity may seem an overwhelming task, but the reward is so much sweeter than I can describe. The truth is indeed a pearl of greatest price to the person who recognizes it.

    The deeper doctrines are free for the learning; they are more miraculous and mind-broadening than I ever imagined and I’ve barely started to scratch the surface. The only ones blocking the strait gate are those we allow to employ themselves there. Fire them and you free the flame of faith in your heart from the freezer of false teachings. May it blaze ever brighter with each beautiful revelation.

    I wish you all the best wherever you may stand on these topics and wherever you may be in your spiritual journey.

  • Castle in the Sky

    Dr. Jack, a Harold Lloyd film, was released on November 26th in 1922 and grossed among the top ten films of that year– for good reason. It’s absolutely hilarious and entirely adorable. This is one of those films that I recommend you just watch. It’s only an hour but worth every second (and don’t look away, because every second counts!).

    It recounts the tale of a girl who really needs to get out more, whose father has been convinced by a charlatan of a healthcare professional that she is terribly ill and feeble and who has been shut in for apparently many years. A lot like Colin Craven from The Secret Garden, but she’s older. A very relatable situation, in recent times, for many.

    The main character, however, is Dr. Jack…son, a country doctor, of local fame for finding the real solution to people’s ailments (in the most hilarious and charming ways possible, of course). We are treated to a myriad of fantastic scenes where Dr. Jack helps his local clientele in various clever but always beneficial and spirit-raising ways. You really have to see it to understand the heart-warming and fun jokes that pass here. Soon, a lawyer friend of the girl’s dad sees Dr. Jack at work, and convinces him to come and free the young girl and her father from the charlatan’s clutches. After a great deal of hilarity and chaos is resolved, he manages to do so just in the nick of time, thus restoring the ‘sky castle’ in his mind- his hopes and dreams of one day winning the girl’s love, despite any differences of wealth or status.

    I loved this film. To me it is up there with the other Lloyd films among the best of wholesome comedy. It’s exceptionally well-written for what it is and a treat to watch. He does some great stunts, pairs them with fantastic cinematic skill and cleverness to make the most of the comedic excitement, and even throws in a solid dose of charming romance.

    Definitely worth it. I’m gonna keep this one short, but do give it a watch.

    Just kidding. I have a soap box topic to bring up so if you don’t want to hear any criticism of the modern medical system, then skip to the end. This film reflects some foreshadowing of the way medicine is still practiced in our country. Either you owe a subscription to constant administration of some kind, or you subscribe to common sense. There are times where doctors can save your life, such as removing an inflamed appendix; or prevent serious complications, such as by setting a broken bone; but in many cases, doctors, at least in my experience, are making money in ways that are not actually helping people to heal, but are simply aiding them in ignoring the warning signs of illness and imbalance. A day doesn’t pass that I look up at the TV when I see an advertisement for a medication to alleviate the symptoms of chronic headaches, ulcerative colitis, or arthritis etc. I’m not saying these medications should never be used, but they certainly have no place as television advertisements, in my humble opinion. The system is set up such that doctors are treated as gatekeepers of the pharmaceutical market more than they are as medical professionals that are here to help you solve issues when you aren’t able to diagnose them yourself. More and more people are becoming reliant at younger and younger ages on such medications and they just as often suffer from the side effects of these as they do a recurrence of their pre-existing condition- even when the medication is faithfully administered. Sometimes they suffer even more from a mis-diagnosis or bad reaction to a medication. One of my relatives on my father’s side died of penicillin back in the day because his local doctor administered it to him again despite having been the one who had given it to him the first time when they discovered he was very allergic to it. There are plenty of other cases too, where the administration of drugs has only exacerbated a problem when a little common sense could have alleviated it, perhaps entirely.

    I have a somewhat chronic condition myself that I have been working on solving for some time. I have come very very close to taking prescription medications for it, but luckily for me it is predictable enough in occurrence for me to decide that I would rather suffer from time to time and be reminded that something in my system is in a state of serious imbalance than shut it off and subscribe dearly to ignorant bliss. I don’t have extra money for that anyway (who does?) and I’m the kind of person that prefers to vote for healthcare reform by silently boycotting the entire market. For many, that is absolutely not the solution. I understand that. But for me, the pain, horrid in its recurring moments, does pass. Whether it be in a few hours, or in twelve or fourteen, it does pass, and I do take an over-the-counter pain pill when it doesn’t show signs of letting me sleep. (I finally found one that usually helps, thank goodness.) The pain keeps me sharply devoted to continuing my quest to re-balance whatever has caused this problem. It is isolated enough for me, as basically my only ‘recurring ailment’; so as a semi-scientifically-minded person I prefer to keep it that way, if I can, in order to minimize variables while I seek a solution. I’m currently striving to keep a plant-based diet right now to see what effect it has on the pain. I’m not perfect, but I’m a bit obsessive, as you may have noticed, so I’m doing okay at it despite some initial difficulties. I’ve done restrictive dieting before so it’s not as big a challenge as it could be, and I have high hopes that this will at the very least improve my health enough to diminish the symptoms coincidentally, if not actually healing the imbalance itself.

    I didn’t mean to get all biographical, but it’s good to share personal experience from time to time, and I feel like there’s a lesson we can learn from Dr. Jack. That is, to take a step back and look at what’s really ailing us, consider that we are not as bad off as we may think, and if nothing else, let go of the stress and fear of things that we can’t control and have a laugh when we can. Be happy. Find ways to reward yourself that increase your enjoyment of life the most- without causing harm- and things might just work out for the better. Take a walk, even just a small one, have a nap if you need one, or eat some vegetable or fruit (healthy food) that you love. Just because you need to do something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy doing it; have the most fun you can while doing the things that will make you feel better. Oftentimes facing your fears head-on is the best reward you can give yourself. Making healthy decisions shouldn’t be drudgery. Embrace the newness and change and the challenge of finding creative ways to improve your situation. Be the Dr. Jack in your own life if you can, and if not, do get help. Use your best judgement in finding a professional that you trust. That’s my advice to myself and any who might read this right now.

    Have a fantastic season! I hope to post two or three more things before the new year, but until then, farewell. May you find more and more that the things you associate with ‘castles in the sky’ are actually achievable aspirations. And may your week be filled the magic and excitement that enlivens every soul.

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